Of Course Chocolate Fixes Everything - I Should Have Known

A potty training tale. Note: If you are uncomfortable with the words potty or pee, or discussion of bodily functions, prepare to be really uncomfortable.

This is my Sweetheart, clear back in March of 2010. At the time we had been living in our current home for about a month, and I was about 4 months pregnant with Princess. You can tell I was pregnant by the crazy mess in the background. Lift a finger? Me? Whatever for? From everything I had read, the first trimester of pregnancy was a bad time to start potty training, but that was now over. Right before a big change is supposed to be a bad time, too, but our big move was over and we were pretty settled in. From what I could see, the timing was perfect for potty training.

I bought stickers, "special juice," new princess panties,

And one of those potty training seats that go on your regular toilet, because I swore up and down that I would NEVER have one of those potties they pee in and then you go dump it in the toilet, because that is just too nasty. We had the date set for our potty training weekend and a plan of action in place, and both me and Sweetheart were super excited! The day came, and the next day, and the next, and she peed in the potty exactly zero times, and on the floor exactly way more than I care to count. I decided that trying to potty train while still being miserable pregnant and tired was really a bad idea. A really, really bad idea! She really had no clue what she was supposed to do when sitting on the potty anyway. From everything I read it is also really bad to go back and forth and be wishy washy, so if it turns out your child (or you!) aren't ready, you need to give it a few months before you try again. I left the potty seat in the bathroom so if she wanted to use it she could, but I was not going to bring it up again until a few months after Princess was born.

Of course, just a couple of weeks before Princess was born, Sweetheart suddenly became very interested. I left her in diapers, but let her sit on the potty whenever she wanted, which pretty soon turned into about twenty bazillion times a day, for about 3 hours each time. Now, I love that I work at home because my job is so super flexible, but it is not quite flexible enough for me to be sitting in the bathroom all day long, so I did it, I went and bought one of these:

She loved it! She wanted to sit on it all the time, and even (I think accidentally) peed in there a couple of times. I showered her with candy and stickers and hugs and kisses, and was just so grateful that without too much effort on my part, she just might be potty trained by the time her baby sister got here after all. Boy, was I wrong!!!

This is a picture I took just last month. Do you see how she is really showing off that Barbie's smile?

(Yes, she is just wearing her swimsuit. And some butterfly wings. No, we weren't going swimming anytime soon. Your point? Oh, and this time the mess in the background is because I have two little ones. Lift a finger? Me? What is the point?) That Barbie is so happy because she was finally able to come off the top of the bookshelf. After her very brief interest in the potty right before Princess was born, she got bored with it super fast and wanted nothing to do with it, and I didn't push it. When Princess was a couple of months old I decided it was time, and through Sweetheart's sporadic efforts sitting on the potty I now knew she knew what to do when sitting on there. I once again got stickers and treats and special drink and we planned a special weekend for our big potty training extravaganza. She really did badly, maybe one success and a whole lot of accidents the whole weekend, but I was determined, and we pushed forward. And forward, and forward, and forward. We watched several different potty training movies, read all the pictures books about it. Every month or so I would try something new as a reward. She has had stickers, taffy, jelly beans, Starbursts, marshmallows, whatever kind of candy Marquis happened to have lying around, and while it would spark her interest for a little while, nothing really helped.

In desperation we took her to the store and let her pick out this Barbie as her special reward when she had been clean and dry for three days in a row. Barbie got mighty dusty sitting on top of the bookcase waiting for that to happen.

Finally, last month, eight months (yes, I did say eight) after we seriously began our little adventure, she was clean for three days in a row, and Barbie got to come down to play. What finally worked? Why, chocolate of course! As soon as I started offering chocolate chips as her reward, she was on the mark almost every time. How could I not have known to try chocolate before? This is my child after all!

Honestly, I don't think it was the chocolate, that is just a funny coincidence. I think that the little stinker just didn't care before, and for some reason suddenly she did. She still is not perfect, but now I can go a few days without having to clean up a yucky mess instead of a few hours. And that is what I call victory!